Then I Am Strong
by Lothiriel84
Summary: "for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2Cor 12: 10). AU. - A companion piece to "When I Am Weak". Written for the Reverse Big Bang on LJ. A huge thank you to my artist Brown Eyes Parker and to my beta MerriWyllow, who also helped me develop the plot. Cover image courtesy of Brown Eyes Parker.
1. Chapter 1

Being graced with a memory like his own was both a blessing and a curse for Patrick Jane. There were remembrances that still plagued him in spite of all the years that had passed by, no matter how hard he tried to push them to the back of his mind.

Even after his marriage to Angela a small part of him couldn't help thinking back to the brief encounter he'd shared with a Chicago girl just a week before he turned eighteen. He'd fled his trailer after one of the many arguments with his father, looking forward to drowning his sorrows in a bottle of cheap beer; he'd ended up in the arms of a petite brunette instead, who definitely looked like she could use some comfort as well.

His heart had broken when she'd burst into tears later on; he'd done his best to soothe her, but he doubted that he'd actually succeeded. And though he didn't even know her name, he'd spent years hoping that fate was going to reunite them again.  
In the space of just an hour the girl had carved her own place in his heart; she was equally strong and fragile, and he instinctively knew that they could complete each other.

However, he never got to see her again when they stopped in town with the carnival; a couple of years later he'd met Angela, they'd fallen in love with each other and finally plucked up their courage to flee from the carnie life they both hated.

Their happiness had been just like a dream, until he made a terrible mistake and his precious family was taken away from him forever.  
He'd always prided himself as strong, but that was before the tragedy happened. Now he was nothing but the shadow of a man, had spent six whole months in a mental facility before he could get to his feet again.

As soon as he was out of Sophie Miller's care he drove all the way to Sacramento and did his best to get hired by the California Bureau of Investigation. Luck seemed to be on his side; not only did he achieve his goal, but the leader of the Serious Crimes Unit took him immediately under her wing.

Teresa Lisbon was exactly what he needed right now. She gave him strength, helped him stay sane in spite of all the voices in his head.  
There was something familiar about her, but he couldn't quite place it at first; his mind was still a mess, he was just starting to pick up the pieces of what was left of his memory palace.

Then he overheard Virgil Minelli making a casual remark about Lisbon's hometown, and suddenly everything fell into place. As incredible as it sounded, she was the very same girl he'd been searching for so long; but now the circumstances were entirely different, there was no way he could tell her about it.

For one he'd no idea how she would react; then there was the fact that for the time being he couldn't focus on anything but getting his revenge. He owed it to Angela and Charlotte, and anyway the last thing he wanted was making his friend another target for the serial killer.

There was nothing for him to do but to push the matter resolutely to the back of his mind once again. Only time would tell if they ever got the chance to discuss it at some point in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane felt incredibly weary as the emotional rollercoaster of the past few months finally reached its conclusion.  
It had started when his suspicion was confirmed that Teresa actually had a daughter, even though she'd never mentioned before. One fine day Mary Beth Lisbon had unexpectedly showed up at the office, and then he'd known.

He was father to the beautiful teenager whose existence he hadn't even been aware of up to that moment. She was the right age, and there was something about her eyes that reminded him of his own mother.  
Then there was the fact that Lisbon was fiercely protective of her; that could only mean she was a single parent, had had to fight tooth and nail to keep her child and raise her properly.

For a brief moment he'd been tempted to run after the girl, hold her in his arms and call her his daughter; but the threat of Red John was still looming over him, there was no way he would lose another child to the same deranged man.

When they started closing in on the elusive serial killer he vowed to himself he would do anything to protect the woman he now cared for as much as his late wife; he went as far as putting his own life on the line, though in the end it was Lisbon who saved the day by shooting the monster he'd craved to kill with his own hands.

None of this really mattered anymore; she was safe, and so was he. The kiss they shared over the serial killer's dead body was the moment he started living again; but then she pulled back abruptly and fled away.  
He could tell by the look in her eyes that she'd recognized him at last, and the notion was enough for her to get into a panic.

However, he couldn't afford to lose her once again; that was why he chased her to her own house, and he was secretly thankful that Mary Beth was so understanding to let him in even against her mother's will.  
The girl had definitely inherited the best traits from both of her parents, and he couldn't wait to get to know her better.

Lisbon put up a bit of a struggle before coming around just like he expected. She was his strength, but somehow it was true even the other way round; they really completed each other, as he'd thought at the time of their very first meeting.  
Even a strong woman like Teresa could use a shoulder to lean on from time to time.

It amused him to no end that she'd categorically warned him they weren't going to share a bed until they actually got married. That was the reason why their engagement lasted only a couple of months, but then their daughter always said that they already bickered like an old married couple.

They chose to get married in Chicago, right where everything had started. Mary Beth was maid of honor to her mother, and she was quite as happy as the two of them.  
It was odd to think that, had not been for the brutal murder of his late family, he would have never got the chance to be reunited with his new one.

However, Jane chose to be grateful for being given a second chance in life, and for the first time in his life addressed a silent prayer to Whoever might be listening from above.  
He was home again.


End file.
